For reasons of which I'm actually not quite sure myself, I've now watched the last three of the Twilight films. It was a fascinating experience, if also intensely boring. The last one made me laugh, however, over how emblematic the battle is of the entire series: in the end nothing has happened, and everything is solved without a single sacrifice for the main characters!
And as a friend commented: it's not even pretty! the fourth film, which is about 60% footage of the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon (during which, again, nothing much happens), isn't even beautifully shot. Even Say yes to the Dress probably shows off the wedding paraphernalia to a better effect.
Positive things about the films:
- Jasper is hot
- Charlie is both sympathetic and funny, and occasionally seems to live in a different, much better film
- Edward drives a Volvo, which is so hilariously white-picket-fence-and-a-dog for a vampire
- Aro, who seems to be visiting from a much cheesier but way more fun film
- Dakota Fanning, because she evidently loves bringing pain to everyone she possibly can in this film, and also she tosses a cute little child on a pyre
- Lee Pace! He was also my favourite thing about Guardians of the Galaxy, and I'd probably watch a whole film with Thranduil sniping and flouncing about
I don't know what to call the point of the fourth film where a teenage romance suddenly turned into as horror film, specifically body horror, but it was... something. I especially appreciated the scene where the child kicked Bella so hard from inside her that it broke her spine
. Perhaps it was just relief that something finally happened, but it was
pretty horrifying, and I agree with the people who have said that this series could probably make a rather good horror story.
I think possibly this could be done simply by changing the score, actually (someone should do this as an experiment). Which, what was up
with the music? I was constantly wondering: am I watching a vampire film or Dawson's Creek? And sure, we all know the answer to that, but still, the film does
have vampires. Of course, it just as well mightn't have; it's not as if they do anything vampires do, like drink blood and avoid sunlight. I mean, I don't have a problem with them being able to walk about in sunlight, because we all know it's not a universal vampire trait, but is there any
downside with becoming a vampire in Meyer's story?